Fat Straws

One of the things that I demand of my green smoothies is that they past the straw test. You know the one. The smoothie has to be thick enough to support a straw stuck strategically in at a perfect angle without touching the side of the glass. This morning's smoothie passed with flying colors. A handful of almonds, two handfuls of spinach, and tons of pineapple, both fresh and frozen. And while I am not promoting any sort of criminal activity on this website, I will give you a tip on the three places that have the best and fattest straws that just happen to be out in convenient little dispensers for the entire world to enjoy. Moe's Southwest Grill ("Welcome to Moe's!") has extra long red fat straws like the one you see pictured here. Starbucks provides deliciously fat green extra long straws, perfect for frozen treats. And, of course, McDonald's (dear God, don't eat the food, just grab a straw!) is famous for its fat red and white striped straws, which might not be as long as the others but are still worth noting.

In the interest of not being a greedy pig, I do recommend rinsing out your fat straw and reusing it until you inevitably bend it, chew it, or wear a hole into one side. But if you happen to be near one of the three fine businesses listed above, you may want to stockpile a straw or two. After you've purchased something, and thus establish your inalienable right to pillage the condiment bins, of course. I'm just saying.