Thursday, January 15, 2009

ANDRE'S REVENGE DAY 15- The Disco Ball is Always Turning

Today I added spirulina to my blackberry smoothie, and drank down something that looked like a black tar soup for breakfast. It didn't taste bad, but just the color was off-putting, and set the tone for my day.

I didn't sleep well last night, so I went back to bed after Beckett left for school, and had a nightmare that I was kidnapped and tortured by some maniac. I escaped, and found the police station in my dreams, and while I was standing there tattered and bloody, with my teeth falling out on her desk, the clerk behind the counter was giving me attitude about not having filled out the right paperwork to file a report. I think I've been spending too much time at the unemployment office.

I shook it off, and changed my attitude because HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE, and had a productive day, working on a design project, updating my portfolio site, making a coffee date with a dear old friend, and gabbing on the phone with a recruiter.

I love being a creative person. My visions of grandeur can sometimes carry me through dark times and make me come out on the other side laughing. I do have them, you know. Vision of grandeur. I see myself larger than life, capable, worthy, beautiful. There is beauty all around us. And love is everywhere. Sometimes I imagine myself in the middle of a dance floor, but instead of balloons falling from the rafters, I imagine little bubbles of love falling all around me, surrounding me, until the room is so full of love that it can't hold another drop.

Rejection has been a constant hurdle in my daily life so far during this challenge. But my relationship with food has changed. I am not trying to fill the void of the rejection with food. I'm not using food as my friend, my companion, my comforter. I'm using food as the fuel to keep my heart light, and to make sure the disco ball is always turning on my imaginary dance floor of love.



Elena (pazazygeek!) said...

Lady, you really are inspirational and awesome. Thanks for that post.

curiousgoods said...

Bunny, I am sending you more bubbles of love... ~~~OoOoOoOo~~~~
I appreciate you sharing your heart and I love that your relationship with food is changing. It gives me hope, as getting back on the wagon after the holidays has proven to be harder than I expected. :(

Keep Writing, Bunny and know that you can't find the right job until it is available. You may be waiting on someone to quit the job that you are going to be filling very very soon....
Hugs, Donna